Reaching for Eternity

I feel slightly better today, I won't lie,
It's because I know I won't see you today,
So maybe the pain would be only unbearable.

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"Yea, cause generally u are too afraid to tell someone u like them, y'know."
"I feel so girly because I can relate to that..."
"But sometimes it just make everything easier if u do, and no your not, it happens to everyone."
"Yeah..."
"Even me...hey pat can i be really honest with you?"
"Yeah, of course you can..."
"well i dont know if u know this or not...but i like you, and i want to kno wif u like me back"
"I.."
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I remember that night more finite than anything,
A few weeks of heaven,
Followed by months of hell,
But it was worth your affection.
No one that I truly respected,
No one I felt I liked for real,
Had ever truly liked me back.
I had only mere days,
Where I felt you expressed yourself.
But it was all worth it,
You were all worth it.

But I think it's fading away.

This feels so strained now,
And maybe I'm wrong,
But I'm worried that 'we' are dying off.
I know you don't like the way I am now,
Rude, obnoxious, irritable, cowering...
... But I am who I am because I lost hope.

This one's my fault,
Don't dare blame yourself,
My cowering, ignorance, regret,
It's digging into me,
And I can't get it out.

There's one other thing I can't get out,
That thing is you.
I can't let go anymore,
I don't know what it is,
I must be obsessive,
I must be pathetic,
You said I never was,
But be honest,
I am.

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"Since when was I lovable?"
"trust me... ur lovable"
"meh"
"i would know.
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It's like a bad memory etched in your mind,
I'm not sure if it's embarrassment or pity for me,
I'm not sure...
                   ... about anything anymore.

I remember to this day that band you showed me,
I know more about them than you do now,
I remember the first time I heard that song...
It was you.

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You led me here, But then I watched you disappear.
You left this emptiness inside and I can't turn back time.
No, stay,
Nothing compares to you,
Nothing compares to you,
I can't let you go,
Can't let you go,
I can't let you...

I'll never be the same, I'm caught inside the memories
The promises, our yesterdays
When I belonged to you,
I just can't walk away,
'Cause after loving you,
I can never be the same,
I will never be the same.
I just can't walk away from you.
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No... I just can't walk away.
I'm holding on... if only it's one day longer,
Because if I take it one day at a time,
I'll soon reach eternity.