Socially-Suicidal

We only feel what we want to.

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Words by Socially-Suicidal, literature

Literature

Words

I can't think of any words to say that could express or de-emphasize what I feel against our mortality. Out of the world they took you early, I guess it's not our choice on who God can't wait to see, even in his timeless eyes. One moment builds on the next until we have a day, and each one can change the next million. I can't pretend and I feel so selfish because I feel like I'm taking part in a horrid game of competitive mourning, but it's hard to do anything else but stare into space and try to remember. If I saw you right now, I don't know what I'd say. When I see you, I'm not sure I'll ever know what to say.

The Valley by Socially-Suicidal, literature

Literature

The Valley

I'll walk the fine line between too little and just enough because I lack the capability to do anything more, unfortunately. Habits build as I break in new shoes, and I'm still dwelling on a few moments that make the lifetime worth it, but so many more that make it never so prestigious. I crumple at trouble and cower from everything that makes me uncomfortable; and to say it plainly, I must stop. The world is the horizon and the ghost in my reflection needs complexion. Help me breach the pinnacle so the mountains stop blocking my vision, and the slopes aren't as intimidating.

soclose to keep-ing-me by Socially-Suicidal, literature

Literature

soclose to keep-ing-me

If the sky fell || / down, I'm not sure where I'd stand. Axe that, I'm not sure I'd make it to the bottom, despite myclosenessdue to the d e n s e, envel- oping, always encroach- ing fog, (encroaching) built of hopeless anguishes. But if I landed with just major scars, you'd inadvertently (accidentally) hold me hostage (sounding

To Apologize by Socially-Suicidal, literature

Literature

To Apologize

It's becoming increasingly obvious That you're trying to forget That I exist, Especially the part where the only way You can get me to try On the outside To do something special Is relentless motivation. I'm sorry that I've moved Away from everything I once was, In character and eagerness To do anything (right.) I'm sorry that I've drifted So far from the truth To a swelling mass of self-pity, Not realizing the only way to get out Is reverting the implosion. I'm sorry that you've found out What I'm about, And you can't pretend I'm better than I am, You can't say anymore "Deep down, it's better." There's no time for me T

All the Kings Horses by Socially-Suicidal, literature

Literature

All the Kings Horses

I've swollen up Myself with self-pity And remorse and regret, But mostly ignorance. I've given up On myself And I'm afraid Almost everything else And I'm growing sickened And afflicted By the day, Hour, minute. I don't know What I've become Versus what I was, But now I'm angry, Conceited, And temperamental. All these things I promised myself I wouldn't be. I guess my excuses Only lie in that I fell apart And I can't seem to find A way to put the pieces Back together.

Spite Me, I'll Spite Back. by Socially-Suicidal, literature

Literature

Spite Me, I'll Spite Back.

You had Might as well Say that Your full support Is against struggling And any growth If you can hear me Screaming. Victory is Counted sweetest When I have To fight To get it, Said fifty thousand People. I don't need Your help In starting The basic wars And embarrass My numerous failures On the road To a single success. I feel like yelling Loudly and Annoyingly To spite you And your Perfectionist hearts. Sorry I'm not Satisfied With something That comes So pleasantly And easily That you have to Mute me. Take investment In your dead son In his only hope To try to be real, My longing to feel Has ripped

Discover-me by Socially-Suicidal, literature

Literature

Discover-me

As I look down And realize the infallibility Of everyone's own Brilliant, unique conscience, I'm finding That I never Was as great As I conceived. How selfish Of me To think I was close To anything special Or real. Honest appreciation Or realization Of how much Subconsciously you mean To me And how much Subconsciously I shaft All these feelings aside, Because I doubt, Because I fight against What I know Is right. What's a dream But a letdown Of failure Or not what's expected, Because happiness Is a figment of moments Not over time, As caution spews From time. I'm nothing different From a flawed monster Matu

World Pieces by Socially-Suicidal, literature

Literature

World Pieces

We all shout Self-righteously Over matters We claim so Altruistic And selfless And emphasize Small falsities Over gaping Difficulties. We could all say That the world Would never Be broken If it were Our hands, But open your eyes To see The impossible Situations. Bias Plagues These one-sided Stories As we pretend We know Both sides Equally, (Wrong.) In the end, What's right and wrong Doesn't matter, All humans Deserve a fighting Chance, But I know You don't believe In that. So keep screaming While the world listens To you as you Fight to the front, And as I whisper For silence. ... And we wonder Wh

.. And I Promise to Disappoint by Socially-Suicidal, literature

Literature

.. And I Promise to Disappoint

Addictions, Dreams, Obsessions, And second thoughts Build up And there's no where For you To let it out. This fire Seems like You're starting to realize That I'm half As good As you thought I would be. These moments That are more often Than not Where I'm silent And where I'm falling Apart in front of you, You don't deserve them Because I don't think I'll ever get better. I haven't for the last Five years. Upward turning And downward churning As I pretend Something would make Me happy. A lot of people say That one of the worst things In the whole world Is having no friends. Numbering few and distant, What am

Sinew by Socially-Suicidal, literature

Literature

Sinew

I'm sick of delicately Weaving these circles Around these dreams Half as great As I think they are, Only to have Someone walk right Through the Intricate web To break them. I can't hide From these hits And hopelessness, It's never okay, I'm never okay. I'm lying Behind you, My only light In my darkness, And I still Fucked that up Royally. You'll be hard-pressed To find anything Positive That's more Than a joke Or excuse That someone Immediately around Can't do better. I'm whining And complaining On self-centered Hurt That leaves me Strangled, Lonely, But struggling Not to be alone. I blame Certain thin

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Words by Socially-Suicidal, literature

Literature

Words

The Valley by Socially-Suicidal, literature

Literature

The Valley

soclose to keep-ing-me by Socially-Suicidal, literature

Literature

soclose to keep-ing-me

To Apologize by Socially-Suicidal, literature

Literature

To Apologize

All the Kings Horses by Socially-Suicidal, literature

Literature

All the Kings Horses

Spite Me, I'll Spite Back. by Socially-Suicidal, literature

Literature

Spite Me, I'll Spite Back.

Discover-me by Socially-Suicidal, literature

Literature

Discover-me

World Pieces by Socially-Suicidal, literature

Literature

World Pieces

.. And I Promise to Disappoint by Socially-Suicidal, literature

Literature

.. And I Promise to Disappoint

Sinew by Socially-Suicidal, literature

Literature

Sinew

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One Life Time by PhantomoftheShadows, literature

Literature

One Life Time

One life time Taste the anger the pain Feel my scars remember me Love her dearly hold him tight For this is their war but we are made to fight Curse all humans, yet bring forth the new lifes Die with a mind of innocence yet with a heart of pain and guilt.....

.Gave.Digger. by BloodBurns, literature

What You See by IceFireX, literature

Literature

What You See

You look in my eyes and see fear You hear Hear say is what they be saying 'bout me Crazy like the chronic Eyes slippin You best be dippin Bitches be strippin Niggas equippin Them Uzi's go a rat a tat tat tat Droppin tacks like fat slacks This noose around my neck It's like a tec-9 when it snaps Gettin tipsy off some schnapps These bitches collapse Permanent dirt naps And the crowd goes clap clap clap Like a twig, snap Strapped up, banged up, tip top shaped up You look in my eyes and see a stranger I might be a danger Look at them rich folks in them rangers Locked up like a tiger in Hollywood Hills Poppin them pills Jus

Never Again by PhantomoftheShadows, literature

Broken doll by ZaneWolf, literature

Literature

Broken doll

Peeling back who I am With out stretched greedy claws Stripping me bare Scratching and nibbling Away at my defenses Intent on getting to my core To seeing to that my light Is doused, whispering to me That my dreams will always be just that Making my nightmares true Stealing away all I am Leaving me alone, desolated Circling around, making slow Shallow cuts Bleeding me out Slowly making me truly hollow and cold All my failure is pouring down Drenching me to the core Snatching bashing pushing me to my knees Holding me hostage over my happiness and ignorance I can no longer feel even dread I'm dead inside, do you see it in

Trapped Inside by TheyCallMeChaotic, literature

Literature

Trapped Inside

Trapped inside, all I'm doing is screaming. Wishing that I could only be dreaming. But I know that wish is not to be true. I can't rely on anything, next could be you. Cause all friends are destined to part, And loving is giving the power to break your heart. There's no one to trust in the end, Because the one breaking your heart will be your best of friends. Why can't god just leave us be? Why couldn't we all have been born free? You can try not to get to attatched, But that's a battle already lost, that. We say that love is forever, But it would be easier if love was never. You can try to push them away, But that is no

Deviation Spotlight

Rain Without Rainbows by Socially-Suicidal, literature

Literature

Rain Without Rainbows

Dear You, I'm sorry it's taken so long For me to realize How much strength it took To give me the five, Five letters. I suppose Though I don't hope You realize I've been so stubborn And self-conceited To notice this Only now. Your acquaintance always... Dear You, I think the count For reading the five Is up to ten times At least, But for some reason After this time, It hit me harder Than any other time. You made me chuckle, You gave me chills, You brought me close to tears. I hope you know I haven't cried for months. I hope you know That I'm writing this now, Laying out these feelings, Though I doubt you'll chec

Rain Without Rainbows

Socially-Suicidal

About Socially-Suicidal

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Artist

Aug 14
United States
Deviant for 15 years
He / Him

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My Bio

^{I'm some random kid trying to get better at writing, and overall, just get more confident. I started writing in June of 2008, and figured a few months ago that I'd seriously take up poetry. If you want to use one of my works for anything, a project, a signature, whatever, I'd like you tell me about it, but I'd really like it if you'd use it and gave credit... I really like to write, read, and learn, and would love to read yours too :)

I always appreciate watches, favorites, and comments. I also would do most requests... makes me feel better to be talked to :D

'I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not.
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got.'

All That I've Got - The Used

Current Residence: Somewhere in Pennsylvania
Favourite genre of music: (Horror) Punk, Hardcore, Screamo
Favourite photographer: .... ^^
Favourite style of art: ........ ^^
Operating System: Whatever my brother happens to be running at the time.
MP3 player of choice: Something crazy durable and small...
Wallpaper of choice: This isn't a random question.
Skin of choice: Anyone who will talk to me. Colorblind, metaphorically =P
Favourite cartoon character: Uhm... zoidberg? I'm not a cartoon monster...
Personal Quote: To live again, breathe, bleed, break silent.}

Favourite Visual Artist

Is it possible to have a favorite in such a broad spectrum?

Favourite Movies

Reqiuem for a Dream (if by favorite is meant the movie that made me :O most)

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

From First to Last,Alesana,Jimmy Eat World,Underoath,Greeley Estates,Chiodos,and a lot more.

Favourite Writers

Same as above, pretty much.

Favourite Gaming Platform

Computer

Tools of the Trade

A mind that thinks too much, a mouse, keyboard, and a computer with internet (google docs <3 )

Other Interests

Poetry, "friends," and whatever you're into.

Posts

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Socially-Suicidal

Feb 14, 2010

88 Truths

0 min read

My girlfriend showed this to me, I think like all of you should see this.  It's really truee hahaha oh well. I havent logged on a lot lately, sorries? I dunno.  Here they are. 1. You can't change other people, and it's rude to try. 2. It is 100 times more difficult to burn calories than to refrain from consuming them in the first place. 3. If you're talking to someone you don't know well, you may be talking to someone who knows way more about whatever you're talking about than you do. 4. The cheapest and most expensive models are usually both bad deals. 5. Everyone likes somebody who gets to the point quickly. 6. Bad moods will come and

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Socially-Suicidal

Jan 20, 2010

... And I thought it would turn up.

0 min read

I haven't been on here for awhile.  Last few poems I posted had eyes on them and reactions I didn't expect (though deep down, perhaps I wanted it to happen. Resolution is a bitch.)  I guess I'll try to post a few more.  I dunno. But I guess ever since it happened, I've felt more than I know and have in the last year, yet I feel more distant and removed from everything.  I can't find the will (for a difference, I'm not as afraid as I am completely lazy) to actually do something useful. Oh, and addictions are horrible.  Get me out of this one, it's been almost a decade.  This is impossible, I'm wasting away, and actually am starting to notice

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Socially-Suicidal

Nov 21, 2009

Fuck. I Can't Do It.

0 min read

The only person that can't make a decision, The person that always hesitates, Happens to be the one that has to choose. This is the hardest decision I've had to make in such a long time.  I can't do this at all, I'm torn, and it's hard to act in either way.  With each passing moment it gets harder, and I know I'm going to lose something here. People say they'll always be my friend, but will it ever truly be the same?

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Profile Comments 1.5K

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GuitarSapir

Aug 14, 2011

Happy birthday!

CareaXandXEgypt

Apr 9, 2011

Hey I love you. ♥ You're the best far-far-away friend I've ever had.

Socially-Suicidal

May 19, 2011

_{I haven't logged on this relic for like 2 months. Ohh lawd youre a hero.}

PAT REAAAA

Heya! It's been quite a while since we have last seen glimpse of each other. So how have you been?

It would be nice to reconnect a bit.

Socially-Suicidal

Aug 23, 2010

^{Ohhh hi indeed. Hahaha I've had a dull summer, but I havent consistently been on DA in forever . Wup but yeah, about to start senior year, life is okay, im gonna get anxious in the next few months but meh. How about you, whats up?}

underworldriver

Aug 23, 2010

Nothing too much. been having a busy summer. Can't get away from work, lol.

Senior year, oh joy. Senior year is fun.